The young woman was running a marathon and came around a corner where I was directing runners over a rocky path.  She slipped and fell, tumbling over the edge of the steep cliff, clinging briefly to a sapling tree before free falling 1000 feet to her certain death.

And then I woke up. Frightened, confused, relieved, concerned. Ah, the dreams that come with a new venture. Things are shifting and it’s not all calm and easy. But then why should it be? I’ve been through surrender before and I know that it comes with a very rich dreamtrack.

I love using dreams in work with clients. Dreams are potent carriers of messages that can buoy the process of transformation. In my own analysis of the falling runner dream, I found a few interesting bits of information.

Why would someone design a marathon over a rocky path? It doesn’t make sense in my linear, “Just do it,” Western mind. But to my dreaming mind, it’s perfect. Rocks are often symbols of power. Of course the path is rocky – most of us have experienced that in the path of real life. Seeing those rocks as pieces of my power can change my journey from one of annoyed caution to determined exploration.

A free fall is what happens when there are no forces but gravity. You might think that would be terrifying but people feel weightless in a free fall. We think of gravity as making us feel heavy but the opposing forces are what actually create the sensation.  By not resisting I can experience an unfamiliar sense of freedom.

Ah, but what about the certain death? I didn’t see the runner die in the dream. Maybe she didn’t. And if she did die, it often represents a rebirth (thanks to Dana Frost for helping me remember that!). Rebirth feels like the most natural next step for me right now and something I hope to make quite a focus of my work in the future.

Calm free falling and navigating with power. I choose the dream over the nightmare.

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The house I live in now was abandoned when we bought it. The Pastori family that lived here before us just up and moved with their five kids back to Italy. They left an amazing amount of stuff behind: furniture, linens, toys, a basement full of junk. It’s not a large house for seven people; I have a hard time imagining all of them and their stuff being there.

After we bought the house, we shoveled it out and filled a dumpster. There was nothing of value to anyone else and it was easier to do a hard reset of the space than to cull through it.

Even so, over the years we have continued to discover bits of things the Pastoris left behind, especially in the yard. An old tennis ball, a water pistol, a garden tool, Barbie heads.

Making a big change in life can feel like reclaiming an abandoned version of yourself. It requires that we learn how to clean out our thoughts. At first, it’s exciting. We start shoveling old ideas out and rushing the new ideas in. If you’re thinking about starting a business, you clean out the thoughts that say “What if it doesn’t work?” If you’re changing your relationship with your children, thoughts like “My kids should do what I say” get the shovel. I just had a birthday and I had the chance to (happily!) clean out my thoughts about “I don’t like getting older.”

But no matter how hard we work to shovel out the old thoughts, there will always be a few Barbie heads – thoughts that pop up out of nowhere, seem vaguely violent, and cause us to wince. The more work I do questioning and challenging thoughts, the easier it gets to just drop those Barbie heads in the trash. They’re just stale artifact thoughts of the previous inhabitant, not the person I choose to be now.

The easiest way to challenge a thought is to turn it around and replace it with one that is more resonant. Finding strong evidence for the new thought helps, too. “What if it does work?”… “I should do what I say”… “I can like getting older.”

Nobody needs a collection of grimy Barbie heads when a fresh, powerful thought is just a turn-around away.

image credit: erix!

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I adore Pam Slim and I’m loving her remarkable “Rebuild Your Backbone” program this summer. My favorite homework so far was to create a soundtrack that feels like success. It was a genius assignment because I can truly only achieve what I can already feel. And I had just plain forgotten how much these songs could make me feel.

I can’t resist sharing my list and a little of what each tune means to me…

http://blip.fm/profile/lauriefoley/playlist

Staple Singers, I’ll Take You There
This is my teaching theme song. I love helping people “get there.”

Joe Cocker, A Little Help From My Friends
This one is dedicated to Pam Slim. Mwah to my friend!

Joni Mitchell, All I Want
A favorite for nearly 30 years. It’s the simplest things that bring me true joy. “I wanna talk to ya, I wanna shampoo ya…”

Joss Stone, Some Kind of Wonderful
“I don’t need a whole lotta money, I don’t need a big fine car, I gotta everything that a girl could want, I got more than I could ask for.”

Keb’ Mo’, Victims of Comfort
Isn’t that why we often keep doing things that don’t really work anymore?

Lenny Kravitz, Let Love Rule
“It’s time to take a stand…”

Macy Gray, I Try
Don’t you just want to wave your hands in the air when you listen to the chorus? Or sing really loud? “I believe that fate has brought us here…”

Nick Drake, Time Has Told Me
Brings me to tears every time… “For some day our ocean will find its shore.”

Sly & The Family Stone, Family Affair
The desire to start a family is what motivated me to start my own business 15 years ago.

Otis Redding, Try A Little Tenderness
“You won’t regret it, no, no.”

Janis Joplin, Take Another Piece of My Heart
When I’m tired or just discouraged, I listen to Janis giving it everything she’s got.

Corinne Bailey Rae, Put Your Records On
Happy, happy music… “Three little birds sat on my window and they told me I don’t need to worry.”

Aretha Franklin, Mr. Big Stuff
I couldn’t have a backbone list without some Aretha! “Who do you think you are?”

Bonnie Somerville, Winding Road
Another great song if it’s starts to get cloudy in my head.

Ben Harper, Diamonds On The Inside
“A candle throws its light into the darkness
In a nasty world,so shines the good deed
Make sure the fortune, that you seek
Is the fortune you need.”

Dave Matthews Band, Where Are You Going?
“I am no Superman”

Bill Evans, What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life?
Just the gorgeous instrumental.  Good for pondering the question.

Jayhawks, All The Right Reasons
“As I lay upon my bed I begin dreaming…”

Amos Lee, Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight
“I think we gotta chance, to make it right.
Keep it loose, Keep it tight.”

Wanda Jackson, Hard Headed Woman
Pure grit – and I want her dress.

I can’t begin to tell you how much fun I had making this list.  Try it!  Please feel free to post your list or a link to your blip playlist in the comments.

image credit: D Sharon Pruitt

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