On a recent school day morning, my family had a rather challenging, uh, discussion. Yeah, let’s call it a discussion. The subject was reality. No, we didn’t set out to or admit to discussing reality but that’s what the actual issue was.
The purported topic was whether or not our kitchen clock should be set ten minutes fast to promote getting out the door on time. Many mornings lately we have been “discussing” the relative setting of the clock and NOT the value of being on time. It’s been ugly.
Now I’m wondering about other situations in which I focus on something that is relative instead of something that is real. When I bite into a cookie, it feels relatively good but what’s real is that I don’t need to always bite into a cookie to feel good. When I make excuses for behavior like leaving dirty dishes in the sink, my story to my clean-sink-loving spouse almost always includes something relative, like “I was busy,” instead of something real, like “Clean dishes aren’t as important to me as they are to you.”
If I understand what is real, won’t I always choose that? I don’t want to choose unhealthy habits. I don’t want to choose marginalizing behavior. I don’t even want to be late.
Sometimes out of presumed kindness or just conflict avoidance, using what is relative is very handy. But we always know deep down when it’s, well, crap. And so do those around us. I want to become more aware of what is relative and what is real. Especially in my inner dialogue because, frankly, that can function like a crap factory many days. It only requires one question: “Is it true?” Sometimes real deserves airtime, too.
Photo credit: Steve Woods
What is true for you? Where have you been distracting yourself with what was only relative?
Related posts:
By Laurie Foley
I'm Laurie Foley and I help solo professionals like you discover your natural brand so that you can get clear, get noticed and get clients. Please request your free copy of The Inner Brandifesto, my popular guidebook full of brand-building exercises.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I love the dirty dishes thing! I am so guilty of this. Reading you’re entry was refreshing. Guess where my awareness will be today – “is it true?” Thanks Laurie!
Laurie, this was wonderful! What’s true for me? The constant internal \justifying\ like there’s some judge for whom you’re having to constantly prepare your \excuse.\ Sigh.
I agree. In the name of \convenience,\ we tell our relative truths. But they secretly accumulate (mass reproduce) like all those un-matched socks in the Sock Abyss Basket. Then you have an epiphany — like the one you’re inspiring — and you realize it’s time to do a major re-wind. Truth-telling, one truth at a time, is a good first step. Thanks for this. (Hmm. I’m noticing our kitchen clock is slow? The push to be ever ahead of the game?)