“My kids don’t appreciate me.”
“I need to take one more class before I really launch my practice.”
“I’m scrambling for jobs working for people I don’t really like.”
“My spouse might not be supportive.”
“What will people think if I tell them what I really want to do with my life?”
These are the kinds of comments that tell me a client is trying to run on what I call “power by proxy.” They are relying on someone else’s power – or support or appreciation or endorsement. They unconsciously but falsely believe that if only they had more of that other power, someone else’s power, life would be good.
Here’s the problem: Power by proxy is weak.
It’s like trying to run an entire house off of an extension cord from the dollar store. And the real kicker is that there is NEVER enough power by proxy to give your life the juice that you truly deserve and can have.
Even worse, when you leak power or steal it from others over a long time, it can get ugly.
Big time, burn your life down ugly.
Admit it – you don’t want to tell people you are stealing their power, but that is exactly what it feels like. It’s a great set-up for getting sick (trust me on this one) and it will take a lot more energy to set things right if you reach that tipping point.
Power piracy is also a relationship ruiner. Mothers who are overly dependent on attention from the children probably won’t have the best relationships as adults. Spouses start to blame each other for not being supportive when lack of support is just the cover-up for power stealing.
So how do you stop being a power parasite?
Get your own power cord and run it straight to the source. Tap your deepest desire. Discover your calling. Learn to distinguish monkey mind chatter from true calling and tell the monkey mind to go enjoy a banana. Learn to trust yourself and your inner wisdom. Question the thoughts that drain you. Turn them around into thoughts that make you buzz with excitement.
Easy? Not necessarily but what’s easy about living on power by proxy? Not much in my experience. We all have patterns to unlearn but I promise that they ARE unlearnable.
Simple? Thankfully, yes. You will be shocked. Get it? Shocked. :^) Shocked by how quickly you will feel your power come back and amazed by what unfolds when you get a direct connection.
Email me. Let’s get you plugged in. If you’re not feeling the juice within a month, I’ll gladly give you a no-hassle full refund. You deserve your own power cord.
Where does your power cord go now? What would you like to do with your own power cord? I’m interested.
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By Laurie Foley
Laurie Foley helps solo professionals discover their natural brand so that they can get clear, get noticed and get clients. Sign up to receive your free copy of The Inner Brandifesto, her popular guidebook full of brand-building exercises.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I love the image of the power cord. It says it all! And I chuckled
with the pun about the ‘shock’ one receives when getting plugged in the
proper way, from one’s true source to the other genuine source.
These “thaws” of unlearning old patterns can be difficult.
I suppose one never knows what they’ll find until they give it an honest
try. Thanks, Laurie.
I think you are right…
It’s the times when I’m plugged into someone else’s surge protector that I feel most drained. Very interesting…
Thanks for this post! Very timely.
Jennifer
Maura: I think we both know what that shock feels like, eh?
Jennifer: It’s helping me a lot to ask myself the title question as frequently as possible. Maybe it’s another form of “whose business am I in?”
Laurie Foley’s last blog post..Whose Power Cord Are You Using?
Spot on, Laurie! I really enjoyed this post.
Cath
CathD’s last blog post..Future Directions: Who Decides?
Brilliant, Laurie. Thanks.