Yesterday I spent nearly two hours unknotting a three-dollar skein of yarn. Not fine, expensive, oh-so-worth-saving yarn. Just bargain acrylic. But it was a lovely color and had a surprisingly nice hand to it.
The marathon unknotting session really had nothing to do with the yarn though. What kept me going were the lessons and discoveries that came with the unknotting.
“Souls in Stitches” is a knitting outreach ministry at my church, Holy Trinity Episcopal Parish in Decatur, GA. We help people learn to knit and create things like prayer shawls for people in need of comfort and preemie caps for babies in need of warmth – and don’t we all need a little comfort or warmth?
One of our dear members arrived with a knitting heartbreak yesterday. We had forgotten to check the dye lots of the yarn she was using for a shawl. About fourteen inches into a new skein, it was painfully obvious that this was not going to be the shawl she dreamed of. It was robbing her of the joy of the project. What choice did we have but to rip out the incompatible yarn and move on? To start over with the right skeins.
Like so many drastic decisions, this one led to a rat’s nest – a huge tangle of yarn. Ordinarily I would just cut the tangle out, cut my losses and abandon the project if I couldn’t replace the yarn. But yesterday was different. All of us there wanted her project to be a success. So we committed to unknotting.
Having previously been an abandoner of knots, I had much to learn.
The Power of Two
I learned that two people can unknot more effectively than one. Truly, I had no idea that two people could unknot. I could only imagine that four hands would make the project more cumbersome, not less. Turns out another member of our group grew up in a family that made fishing nets. She knew all about unknotting massive tangles! I might never have learned this fact about her and it led to a long, interesting discussion about her background in a country very different from mine.
Tension Helps
With both of us unknotting, one person could maintain tension on the freed yarn while the other picked at knots and created openings to pass through. Having always been a solitary unknotter (make that giver-upper!), I never knew the value of that tension.
Following A Peaceful Path
Another surprise was how hypnotic the unknotting became. We kept repeating the effort over and over again. The unknotting was as relaxing as knitting would have been! We weren’t cursing the knots (we were in church, after all) and we had made a conscious decision to follow the loops and turns where they would take us in order to find the smooth yarn again. After a while, it reminded me of walking the labyrinth, another ministry of the church.
The Necessary Cut
And the last lesson: yes, a cut was necessary. In the end, after yards and yards of untangling, there was one central, knotted, tight, felted mess that just could not be undone – not this time. We ceremoniously grabbed the scissors and excised a foot or so of what could never be untangled, freeing hundreds of yards of ready-to-use fiber. As much as we all wanted to avoid any cuts, saving the rest required it.
If you had told me I would spend hours unknotting pennies worth of yarn, I would have rolled eyes and maybe even felt indignant. But now I wouldn’t trade the experience. And someone will eventually receive a shawl made more from peace and joy than yarn.
Image credit: sunshinewalks
What is knotted in your life or your business?
Is there a partner who could help you unknot?
How could you apply some tension?
Are you committed to following a path that could bring you peace?
Can you relax into the process?
What might really have to be cut?
How can unknotting become as spiritual as creating?
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By Laurie Foley
Laurie Foley helps solo professionals discover their natural brand so that they can get clear, get noticed and get clients. Sign up to receive your free copy of The Inner Brandifesto, her popular guidebook full of brand-building exercises.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Laurie – You are a blogging machine. But you don’t only have quantity, you have quality. Loved this analogy. Relaxing in the process is really powerful for me. In the past, I have untied my “knots” while cursing the entire time and just wanting to be finished with it, so I could move on to the next thing. One of the simplest but most difficult lessons I have learned is not only to accept that I will need to untangle knots in my life, but to actually embrace and enjoy the process.
Jessica Ryan’s last blog post..Be a WYSIWYG!
Laurie, what a wonderful, live experience of untangling something with love, and in community. I love the metaphor of unknotting as part of creation. Wisdom, of course, lies in knowing when to unknot and when to cut.
Thanks for this brilliant post!
Hiro Boga’s last blog post..Shepherd, Steward, Saint or Angel: What Kind of Leader Are You?
Laurie – brilliantly written, inspiring & touching.
Thank You!!
Marie’s last blog post..The Courage to Be Happy
@Jess – yes to the process!
@Hiro – it makes me wonder what else we can experience and learn in community that might not be accessible “the old way”?
@Marie – thank you!
Laurie Foley’s last blog post..Unknotting 101
“Turns out another member of our group grew up in a family that made fishing nets.”
Loved your post, Laurie! I also am amazed at how often the right experts are in the room at the right time. Nobody panic: These are Just Knots.
This is a great post. I love the point about the power of two. I’m very independent and I always think I can do things on my own so this was a great reminder of how others can really help us when we’re in need. Thank you for this!
Positively Present’s last blog post..words are my happy sounds
I love this, Laurie. The other night, the kids and I were in a similar place… but with oil paints. After launching into creative abandon, we realized we had no idea how to clean out the brushes. Oil and water do not mix… and without paint thinner, it was kindof a tedious task. Someone suggested we just toss the brushes… but that wouldn’t have been nearly as fun. We made a big soapy paint swirly mess that was more fun than painting on the canvas itself. We relaxed into not knowing the answer, not having the correct tools and creating our own solution. Glorious.
Jennifer Voss’s last blog post..When Your Essential Self Speaks – Do Nothing
@Kathy – “Nobody panic.” I love that.
@Dani – The knots just got embarrassingly worse until I got help.
@JV – That DOES sound glorious.
Laurie Foley’s last blog post..Unknotting 101
Laurie,
Thank you for the beautiful & wise post…I love the openings you found through opening yourself to partnership in the unknotting process…
Your post reminds me of an article on unknotting that I loved by Elizabeth Seward in the summer 2008 issue of Living Crafts magazine called “Tangles Happen.” I had to go re-read it after reading your post.
In it, she says the first step to untangle a knot is to believe you can solve it. And she says “Untangling yarn requires ‘listening’ to the yarn: stepping back and allowing the pathways to emerge, knowing they will not emerge without my own involvement, that the solution is in the yarn itself, not in me.”
(If you’re interested, I’d be happy to scan the articel and email to you, just let me know.)
If you haven’t yet read it, I recommend Zen and the Art of Knitting by Bernadette Murphy — more wisdom on the lessons found in knitting, writing and being present.
Thanks for the inspiring post!
Shannon
Shannon’s last blog post..Monday Musings: Your Boldest Bloom
@Shannon – Thanks so much for the info about Elizabeth Seward’s article. I happily found part of it here: http://tyinguplooseends.blogspot.com/2008/05/tangles-happen.html I will keep an eye out for Zen and the Art of Knitting, too – it sounds like something I would enjoy. Very grateful for you being here.
Laurie Foley’s last blog post..Unknotting 101
Sounds like the luxury of going back in time — when we can reflect, appreciate, sit on the front porch, watch life go by. Not once, but time and again. And in the passing to hear the preciousness of people’s stories. That is a treat in itself. Spinning or saving or un-knotting the yarn, oh, such a metaphor for sending the clock back in the OTHER direction. Yum, yum!!! You have encountered a sacred technology.
Lovely, Laurie.
Thank you for sharing this story, Laurie. Your beautiful observations about unknotting have moved me both creatively and spiritually.
Kerrie Lee’s last blog post..Smart Pricing and Free Download
Laurie — Thanks for this wonderful analogy. So many times we tense ourselves up, readying for the next crisis, when what we need is to relax and literally go with the flow of the event or problem — in this case, the yarn. Even more powerful is the realization that the flow was electrified – energized – by the hands of others. Friends plus patience — what a mix!
I enjoyed this immensely. Thanks.