Goldilocks knew exactly what she wanted and she knew how to get it. She tried each chair, sampled each porridge and approached each bed until she found the one that was juuuuust right. Unfortunately, this story also teaches many a child that it is destructive and dangerous to know what you want and then have the audacity to simply take it. What a wretched, reckless girl! She broke the chair, she binged on porridge and she almost got eaten by bears when they found her sleeping in their darling baby bear’s bed. How dare she?
Often in my work I feel a little like Goldilocks. I work hard to sort out what I really want and what my priorities are. I try things out. Sometimes things break. I cling to the things that work for me and, yes, sometimes I fear that I will be eaten by the bears (bares?) of lack of success, judgmental thinking or just too-little-too-late.
But the biggest bears in my mental fairy tale are the “dares”… ever hear any of these voices in your head?
“How dare she do the work that she loves?”
“How dare she ask to be paid that much?”
“How dare she offer a class in that?”
“How dare she change careers?”
“How dare she decide what is best for herself?”
The bears and their dares. Roooooaaar! It’s enough to make you jump out the window and run away forever.
What if Goldilocks had tried to have a friendship with the bears instead? What if she offered them something in exchange for their hospitality? What if she got friendly with them on Twitter before she broke into their house? What if they all found a way to co-exist and thrive? I mean, didn’t Goldy deserve a cozy home like those bears had, too? Can you imagine if we all told stories where Goldy’s life isn’t threatened for seeking to have her basic needs met?
Have you heard bears in your head? How do they hold you back?
What if you trusted your Wise Self to guide you at just the right time with a deep belief that you won’t get eaten alive? What would you do then?
P.S. Want some inspiration? The Goldilocks Project has over 200 variations on Goldilock’s adventures. Surely, we can each find alternative endings for our own personal adventures.
Photo: Andrew_N
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Laurie — I can definitely relate. It makes no sense, but when I’m about to embark on a new project I often find myself worrying about whether I’m going to hurt someone in the process (like Goldilocks breaking into the bears’ home). Now that I have more awareness that this will be the first place my mind will tend to jump, I feel calmer when I’m confronted with that fear of “hurting somebody with my work.”
I agree with you, Laurie, that maybe Goldie and the bears were meant to meet up —-
She was curious/brave enough to try out their stuff (porridge, beds) and they were sensitive enough to realize their stuff had been touched. Maybe they all hungered for one another but did not have the language of reciprocity yet. The basic fires of survival (food, shelter) and the wild fires of curiousity await meeting up in all of us. Maybe each fuels the other more than we ever believed. Maybe they’re part of one grand recipe!
I’ll chew (and sleep) on this one. Roooaaaar!
My Goldilocks fear is “who is going to take care of Goldilock’s (extended) family financially while she runs off to make less money by starting her own buiness”. Of course all 3 of them are adults capable of taking care of themselves! I’ve released this fear after reading this blog today.
@Chris – This is fascinating. The first question that pops in my head is what if you are hurting someone by NOT doing your work? Like you
. Or people who need your work?
@Maura – You are magical. Curious Goldilocks and the Sensitive Bears – love it. Would that we could all find the language of reciprocity when we need it!
@Sue – What a wonderful fear to release! You’ve got your own 3 bears, eh? Thank you for your comment.
I love that Goldilocks was so present and in the world of experience, where she could enjoy all the multi-sensory distinctions, rather than being in the world of “what-ifs” where we worry about stuff that’s just in our heads. And in the version I had as a child, they were pretty friendly bears and she never got eaten by them or anything nasty like that… it was quite a successful adventure for her!
@Cath – Are you sure your hair isn’t golden?!? You’re remarkably good at having successful adventures yourself.
Hi Laurie!
Interesting focus on the bears – I had not paid them that much attention. Goldilocks – sure knew what she wanted and kept going for it – she inspired a post of mine also – she lives on and on!!!
Marie
@Marie – Subliminal inspiration! I loved your Goldi-post.
Love the idea that she was brave enough to ask for what she wanted. But after all, she did walk into someone else’s house and make herself at home! Just make sure our Goldilocks ideas are OUR own ideas – not helping ourselves to someone else’s.
Hi. I “met” you tonight on Bev’s show – great by the way. I haven’t jumped out the window yet and run away forever and I hope I never do!
Mary Anne
MaryAnneNagy.com