When I was a kid, the best summer evenings started with asking my mom if she had an empty jelly jar. With a lid. Then, we’d ask my dad to punch holes in the lid, but not too big. Just breathing size. We would follow him out to the tool bench in the garage where a lamp was getting a new cord or a car part from the salvage yard was soaking in solvent for a future repair. He made it look easy to pierce metal with a nail.
And when all the neighborhood kids were armed with jars, the dance of chasing lightning bugs began. Dusk was the ideal time. It was like the stars had downshifted and were hovering closer to Earth. A little dimmer and yellower but right at arms length. The lightning bugs were putting on a show and it felt powerful to capture light where the grape jelly had been a few days ago.
Marketing with integrity has been top of mind for me lately. I’ve been so dismayed by people following the old school formulas for building huge lists and wearing out their followers with repetition, so-called scarcity and other grinding approaches. I’m tired of being pitched.
I think it got painful because I’m a researcher. Analyzing how things work is like breathing for me. I can’t not do it. And I couldn’t reconcile what felt so bad with what appears as success for the “stars.”
Then it hit me: it’s none of my business.
Their business is none of my business.
And with that thought came peace.
I just remember what it felt like to catch those lightning bugs and how watching most online marketing doesn’t give me anything close to that feeling. Success is a feeling. And right now, with the thick humidity of summer in the air, I want to feel joy. The cooler air of evening, the thrill of playing in the dark with friends and the peaceful sleep that comes when lying next to a small luminescent jar.
If it means that my approach to marketing is more like lightning bugs and less like stars, I’m good with that. I’ll enjoy growing my business just as much as I loved catching lightning bugs when I was ten years old.
I have extra jars if you want to come out and play.
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Bravo! The marketing fatigue that I am feeling from people who I truly love and respect, is beginning to concern me. I don’t want to disconnect from these people, but the constant barrage of emails and false shortages and sign up now or else threats has me exhausted and considering withdrawing/unsubscribing/unfriending, to say the least.
Time for a new, more authentic approach to marketing. At least for me.
Lynne´s last blog ..Conchiglie Del Mercante Recipe (YUM!)
Great Post Laurie! Thanks for sharing and helping me see that I don’t have to follow in the footsteps of the loudest marketers, which is often all I hear. I am not quite sure how to catch lightening bugs, but I like the idea of learning. Big *mwah* to you!
Love this post, Laurie. You have reminded me in a quite poetic way that there is no ‘marketing formula for success”. Even though I can learn from others, I need to trust myself for what applications and tactics fit who I am and what MY business is. I’ll be thinking of you tonight when the lightning bugs come out in my yard!
Janet´s last blog ..How To Write Keyword Rich Copy For Your Website
This is exactly what resounded with me – create my own path concerning marketing and do what is right for me. For my clients, I do the same, but from their product/service perspective.
Laurie – Thank you for reminding us that we all need to take a some time out and enjoy the simple things in life – like lightning bugs.
Heather Villa´s last blog ..“What Should I Do?” – Teaching
I’m in. Save me a jar or two!
And I mean that in relation to the metaphor of business-building, but also I gotta come catch actual lightening bugs with you sometime. We don’t have them in South Africa – I’ve only ever heard of them in storybooks about faeries and such.
Cath Duncan´s last blog ..Why Do You Want To Find Your Life Purpose?
One of my favourite childhood memories! And yes on everything else too. Peace with who you are and how you do it is more important than trying to be like everyone else. Well done!
Tia Singh´s last blog ..How To Get Out Of a Funk INSTANTLY!
Brava Laurie!
Can you send lightening bugs? We don’t have any here?
That’s not some kind of marketing metaphor, we really don’t have any here.
I’m so with you, I’d rather laugh, connect, teach and love than give up my energy to stuff that doesn’t resonate for me.
I’m so in. Please pass me a jar.
I’ve been feeling tweaked by this marketing thing lately too.
I also realized it was taking up too much space in my head. Weighing me down. Sucking up energy that I should be spending on mastering my next CD. Or chasing the kitty around the house. Or sitting outside in the uber quiet of the morning.
I’m paying attention to the stuff that has flow for me right now. And I’m heading that direction.
The stuff that feels fight-ey and push-ey and ack-ey?
Nah.
I’d rather be catching lightning bugs too.
Fabeku Fatunmise´s last blog ..Fight or flow: Update #1
I remember those lightnin’ bug nights!
Hey friend!
Count me in. I have extra jars to share with the crowd and some of the same memories. The lightening bugs have been making me smile the past few days. They are out in BIG numbers this year! Their “pitches” are much more magical than the others I’ve been reading and hearing lately. : )
Jennifer Voss´s last blog ..How “Becoming vs. Being” Became My Lesson of the Year
I’m going to be relishing the phrase, “success is a feeling” for a very long time.
David Cohen´s last blog ..Love, brands and forgiveness
Laurie, once again you so eloquently captured something I’ve also been feeling. I am so weary of being “marketed to” that I have basically opted out of everything for the time being. It has become so overwhelming to me to sort out what is authentic and what is not that I am taking a breather and spending some down time catching metaphorical fireflies of my own. The scarcity thing, especially, is such an energy-drainer — why expose myself to things that cause me to get that “Oh, no, I better buy/sign up for/participate in this or I’m missing out on my big chance!”
I keep thinking of the classic line from the movie Say Anything: “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”
I know eventually I’ll present something to the world, in some form, that helps people and changes lives. But I’m so turned off by the whole marketing culture right now that I am on marketing sabbatical!
Clearly I have great big bunches o’ thought work to do on this issue — but while I’m sorting it all out, I’m just going to hang with the kids catching fireflies. It’s much more fun
Laurie –
What a gorgeous post! Pure poetry. And your “lightening bug” take on online marketing really resonates with me.
The nice thing is, we all have our right people {to quote Havi Brooks from The Fluent Self}. Some people get super jazzed by the pushy-y and hype-y approaches. They like the feeling of lightening whizzing through their veins {instead of relaxing in the glow of a small luminescent jar}. I guess it comes down to what works for each blogger/entrepreneur and the people who are attracted to them. {I’m attracted to your lightening bug analogy and would love it if you’d save me a jar, too.}
– Abby
Abby Kerr´s last blog ..Find Your Niche Online, Part 1B: Bunny Trail
You are all luminous! I couldn’t ask for a more lovely jar full of comments that affirm and challenge me to keep thinking about my marketing style.
Hello Magical Laurie,
We had fireflies (lightning bugs) the other night in NYC. I was sitting in a city park at night with a friend and voila, the little critters alighted (no pun intended). I had not seen them in eons. It was magical. Thanks for your lovely, summer-ly post.