The house I live in now was abandoned when we bought it. The Pastori family that lived here before us just up and moved with their five kids back to Italy. They left an amazing amount of stuff behind: furniture, linens, toys, a basement full of junk. It’s not a large house for seven people; I have a hard time imagining all of them and their stuff being there.
After we bought the house, we shoveled it out and filled a dumpster. There was nothing of value to anyone else and it was easier to do a hard reset of the space than to cull through it.
Even so, over the years we have continued to discover bits of things the Pastoris left behind, especially in the yard. An old tennis ball, a water pistol, a garden tool, Barbie heads.
Making a big change in life can feel like reclaiming an abandoned version of yourself. It requires that we learn how to clean out our thoughts. At first, it’s exciting. We start shoveling old ideas out and rushing the new ideas in. If you’re thinking about starting a business, you clean out the thoughts that say “What if it doesn’t work?” If you’re changing your relationship with your children, thoughts like “My kids should do what I say” get the shovel. I just had a birthday and I had the chance to (happily!) clean out my thoughts about “I don’t like getting older.”
But no matter how hard we work to shovel out the old thoughts, there will always be a few Barbie heads – thoughts that pop up out of nowhere, seem vaguely violent, and cause us to wince. The more work I do questioning and challenging thoughts, the easier it gets to just drop those Barbie heads in the trash. They’re just stale artifact thoughts of the previous inhabitant, not the person I choose to be now.
The easiest way to challenge a thought is to turn it around and replace it with one that is more resonant. Finding strong evidence for the new thought helps, too. “What if it does work?”… “I should do what I say”… “I can like getting older.”
Nobody needs a collection of grimy Barbie heads when a fresh, powerful thought is just a turn-around away.
image credit: erix!
Related posts:
By Laurie Foley
Laurie Foley helps solo professionals discover their natural brand so that they can get clear, get noticed and get clients. Sign up to receive your free copy of The Inner Brandifesto, her popular guidebook full of brand-building exercises.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Laurie,
I like your analogy. I loved to kick some of those Barbie heads to the curb. (When my daughter isn’t watching, of course.)
I recently found a personal collection of “barbie heads” and happily threw them out to make room for the powerful new thoughts that support who I am, today. I simply love this post– thanks for sharing your wisdom!!
.-= Nona´s last blog ..Integrating yogini-ness with business =-.