Go ahead and crank up The Police so we can belt out the lyrics from “Roxanne.” You’re going to want that as the soundtrack for this post.
(Try this link if the video doesn’t show up.)
In the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen some women using marketing tactics that are utterly offensive to me. They’re acting like strippers in search of a pole to get attention for their program. I’ve been wrestling with why their methods bother me so much, and it hit me: the archetype of the prostitute is alive and well.
I was uncomfortable with what I saw them doing because I felt vulnerable. Why? Because they are leveraging the archetype of the prostitute (which we all have) and trying to manipulate me into believing my own inner prostitute who screams “Survival at all costs! Values be damned!”
The prostitute archetype is one of our core survival archetypes. She frequently shows up around matters of integrity and challenges me to respect myself and not sell out. Recognizing the value of my inner prostitute, I can see how she serves me. When I feel the ick of other people pimping themselves out, it’s just a cue to check myself. Where am I selling out? Why am I choosing that?
Don’t be shocked if your own inner prostitute rears up when you feel as if someone is challenging the course you’ve set for yourself or your self-worth or just pushing your damn buttons. You’re going to feel tempted to hike up your skirt and find the nearest corner. But you can choose differently. Recognize that temptation as the inner prostitute and collaborate with her.
How?
First, recognize that survival is a powerful force. The prostitute archetype is just an expression of that force. Her presence does not mean that you have to turn tricks for a living.
Choose compassion instead of compromise. Love all that you are, before you put anything on sale. Realize that you are enough, just as you are. Your strengths and your skills – they are enough. Selling by manipulation is for people who don’t think that what they offer is enough or worth what they are asking – or they lack the proof of their methods.
I love powerful women. I respect powerful women. Here’s to more marketing from powerful women. When I see a woman of substance offering an effective program from the power of her core, I can’t wait to endorse her and share what’s she’s doing.
So ladies, please. Put away your makeup. You don’t have to put on the red light. You don’t have to sell your body (or your soul) to the night.
Own yourself. Therein lies your substance and your power.
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By Laurie Foley
I'm Laurie Foley and I help solo professionals like you discover your natural brand so that you can get clear, get noticed and get clients. Please request your free copy of The Inner Brandifesto, my popular guidebook full of brand-building exercises.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Figured I should say this here, too – as I just said it on Facebook — I’ve been feeling this exact thing, but couldn’t name it – thank you for naming it!
Also, loved this line: “You’re going to feel tempted to hike up your skirt and find the nearest corner.” – made me laugh. I *really* like how you mix humor with your wisdom, Laurie. Thank you.
Square-Peg Karen´s last [type] ..Poking Pollyanna With a Stick on Mothers Day
Aww yeah. Sing it, sister.
Hell yeah!
I can sense the seduction of the prostitute archetype, and though it may be effective to a point I do not know anyone who views a person coming from that place as being authentic.
Women who sell from that position only end up looking scared and frantic, scrambling for a power that eludes them.
Such an interesting post Laurie. Thrilled to have been introduced to you this week and looking forward to more. Thanks for your thoughts!
Payson´s last [type] ..Small Business Marketing Strategy- Laying the Foundation
I love how you fabtastically spell out the way the prostitute archetype works.
And how you tie it to survival? Brilliant.
What I love most though is how you bring this back to us. And how this stuff exists in our inner bits, too.
In the recent buzz, I’ve seen a lot of focus on specific people. That’s bothered me for a few reasons. And, ultimately, it feels like a distraction.
Taking a peek inside and seeing where we fall into the same trap – whether it’s with our businesses, our relationships, our lives, whatever – feels so so important to me.
Thanks for putting the focus there.
This: “Where am I selling out? Why am I choosing that?”
Such. Important. Questions.
They touch every facet of life, don’t they?
Thanks for the practical wisdom, Laurie. And thanks for reminding us to check our own inner spaces.
Fabeku Fatunmise´s last [type] ..Swim With Da Fishes Marketing
There’s sort of a “lack” mindset in the prostitute approach, isn’t there, Laurie? Either there’s a thought like, “I’m not good enough to sell this on its merits”, or “It’s not good enough to sell on its merits”, or “I have an idea about myself which is small, powerless and I really only have one thing anyone wants – which is between my legs. If that gets me what I want, then that’s what I’ll do.”
Ick.
Super double ick.
And I feel for the person who defaults to this position. When, as you and I know, the remedy is simple – center in integrity, adhere to values, bring your best, and then the right people will buy.
Thanks for putting this in the context of archetypes. I, too, have been frustrated by the current marketing vibe and your insight helps me get clear.
Muchas gracias, sister.
Michele Woodward´s last [type] ..Empty Nest Mother’s Day
This is just what I needed, just when I needed it, Laurie. Thank you!
Hey, Laurie! –
Great post, and as we all are thinking, timely! {BTW, I think this is my first comment on your blog. Have been reading and enjoying your POV for a good while.
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I so appreciate you calling out sexual provocation in marketing for what it is. Sexuality is an interesting angle to play when the product being sold is NOT geared toward enhancing the buyer’s sexual expression. Yes, I know we’ve seen this for years across the advertising/marketing spectrum, but it’s *quite* interesting when used by women who are selling to {primarily} women.
Like you, I *totally* love and follow women who own their power — whether in a woo-woo sense or not — and rock it out responsibly. Thanks for calling a spade a spade and suggesting a way to express integrity from a powerful place that has *nothing* to do with the ability to seduce or titillate — in business or elsewhere.
Great blog and ideas. I thought the “lack” and “ick” vibes were just me. I also love that you are exploring, not passing judgment. It also brought into focus my own tendency to wear a turtleneck (?!) rather than a deep-V, and why.
Thanks,
Ann
I totally agree with you. However, there is a point where the guts it takes to put some of this advertising out there and seemingly have fun with it makes me smile – and a little envious. I am not a gutsy person. If I could have the smallest slice of that bravery and creativity to use to market myself, i would be so happy…which is why i loved this quote from your blog…because I recognize why I can sometimes be a little enthralled with this type of marketing…
“You’re going to feel tempted to hike up your skirt and find the nearest corner. But you can choose differently. Recognize that temptation as the inner prostitute and collaborate with her.” and then you follow it up with wonderful advice on how to collaborate with our inner protitute, or vixen.
And i’m so relieved…because hiking up my skirt on a street corner was never an option I would have been able to consider!
Deb Droz´s last [type] ..A Rocky Love Affair
Thanks for putting this out there, Laurie! I’ve been thinking a lot about this and from what other people have been saying.
I think, as you and others have said, it’s just a particular way of doing things. It doesn’t mean that it needs to be your own way. And I really do believe that each of us has our very own way to discover because we’re all different people with different values and situations.
Regarding this flashy marketing phenom, I go back and forth with it. I don’t know how well it works for these particular people and I don’t know them or their customers experiences well enough to know how happy they are with the advertising or the program. The program itself looks decent from the outside and they do offer quite a bit of information about it upfront.
It all looked tongue-in-cheek and they seemed like they were having fun, so there’s also that. It wouldn’t be my own way of doing things (I don’t even think I’ve got those kind of moves in me, ha ha), but then again, I’m not them.
Mostly, what I’d like is for more awareness on the customer side to help people learn how to separate the flash from the substance. It’s easy to confuse the two. Nothing wrong with getting enthusiastic. People just need to make sure they do it for the right reasons after they’ve done their due diligence first.
Naomi Niles´s last [type] ..Why Copying Others is a Bad Strategy
Thanks y’all for taking the time to comment and be so thoughtful in your responses. I know I haven’t seen the last of my own inner prostitute. As I continue to invite her to tea, I’ll carry your ideas into my conversations with her.
Laurie Foley´s last [type] ..You Don’t Have To Put On the Red Light
Oooooo So glad you are coming out of the closet of being an archetype whisperer;) When you spoke on the Mom Gets A Life teleparty the archetype conversation lit up the audience. I’m still getting questions about it!
I love this conversation because understanding that this potential to have the prostitute take over is a potential for each of you. And when we see it coming through its also a sign to turn toward the needs of the prostitute – validation, worth – and start giving that back to ourselves.
Would love to say the prostitute archetype never finds her way to the surface but then I’d be a BIG FAT LIAR
However, getting clear on what it means when she comes out is so enlightening.
Heading over to Twitter to tell the tweeples you keep talking about whores;
Just this morning I wrote about my shadow side, which I refer to in terms of my life lesson from my fingerprints.
it showed up howling last night – because I misinterpreted something. Luckily I didn’t DO anything with that before bed. I waited. I tossed and turned a lot in the night.
I woke to find out that it had been MY error in not knowing all the facts.
I was amazed at how quickly I went from a sane, “I rawk” girl to a miserable, mistrusting one.
That’s how our shadows/archetypes work.
Luckily it gave me the opportunity to reflect and ask, “What do I need to learn?” “Where can I be more compassionate?”
Then – “coincidence” sent me here.
Such a beautiful look at this particular, often confounding, archetype.
Thanks!
Peggie
Peggie´s last [type] ..Ahead of Time
It must be something in the water Laurie, or maybe the stars, who knows. Regardless the source I guess the jig is up eh. Me too!! I got the same vibe a couple days ago – after returning from an extended stay on The Big Island in Hawaii, I thought it was just me. You know, to much dolphine energy and all that. But now I am convinced we of the higher consciousness are just sick to the teeth of same ole, same olemarketing. . .and it’s time to take a stand. It is time to let it go, do something different and stop the insanity. I got a total of 6 emails from one person in one day, all pitching the same thing. I have a lot to say about this (and it’s all in my latest post), where this comes from, this energy of ‘not enough’ and how we all need to be about the business of shifting that ‘end justifies the means paradigme’ pronto!!!!!
Alison Elliot´s last [type] ..Show Up- Listen & Engage – Stop Marketing the old way