What’s Love Got To Do With It?

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One of my favorite questions to ask service entrepreneurs is “What are you NOT willing to do in your marketing?” (It’s one of the juicy questions in The Inner Brandifesto. You’ve got that right? No? Well, mozy over and get it here.)

The number one answer is, by far, anything that makes them feel pushy. And with a little poking beneath the surface, it’s usually something that has been “done to them” in marketing that they didn’t like, like a super long ugly sales letter or zillions of repetitive “Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!” emails.

When someone tells me what they don’t like, they are actually telling me everything about what they DO like. If they don’t like harsh, then they do like soft. If they don’t like being hammered with repetitive messages, then they do like having their time and their inbox respected.

So if you don’t want to be pushy – if you like soft, respectful marketing – can you be successful? If you look around the world of online marketing, you might seriously wonder.

Happily, the answer is yes.

Even better, it’s based on something that you already know how to do: love. You didn’t marry the pick up artist; you married the one who courted you. Sure, you may have had a fling with a bad boy (or girl) or two (or bought a product or three), but you didn’t seal the deal and build a long, happy life with Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma’am.

Online marketing is the same. Relationships take time to build, time to nurture and time to evolve. No, this isn’t the dominant view online. No, this isn’t the get rich quick method. But it is the way to build a healthy, sustainable business. And, even more importantly, it’s full of love for the people who authentically need what you have to offer.

So why is that other yucky stuff out there at all? Because it does make sales – for a while. But it requires you to hang out in the equivalent of seedy bars online to pick up new hook ups. It’s what’s called “churn and burn.” The churn is continually adding people to a mailing list and the burn is, yep, burning them (and probably losing their attention forever) with pushy tactics.

Are you feeling even ickier when I call it what it is? Why would *anyone* run their business this way?

In the always reliable wisdom of Tina Turner: “Who needs a heart, if a heart can be broken?”

That’s my hunch: these churn and burn marketers have been hurt. They’re afraid to put their heart on the line. They’re cut off from their feelings, and they don’t mind hurting others because their heart isn’t in the game. Their measure of success is “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Where is their client in that?

It makes me want to cry to see marketing that is, in fact, full of someone’s pain.

So, and I’m assuming you’re NOT that wounded-so-I’ll-wound-others person, what can you do if you want to grow your business?

Back to Tina’s marketing genius, let’s ask “What’s love got to do with it?”

Love takes a risk. Love offers but doesn’t grasp. Love comforts without smothering. Love brings its best. Love learns all that it can so that it can meet a need.

Or, from that other soul great, Al Green, the other side of love says: Here I am. Come and take me. Take me by the hand. Show me. Teach me.

That’s what your clients want to say to you as they fall in love with what you offer. They are saying “Take me by the hand, show me, teach me.”

What if that’s enough in your marketing? Extend your hand. Show them. Teach them. Take the risk.

With love.

Related posts:

1. The Love Test

By Laurie Foley

Laurie Foley helps entrepreneurs discover their natural brand. She is also the creator of Blog More, Stress Less, the six-step system for coaches who want to learn the craft of blogging for business growth. Registration is open now for the March 2012. Early registration discount is available through Tuesday, February 28, but space is very limited. Register now: http://blogmorestressless.com