Laurie Foley

Choosing the Dream Over the Nightmare

Laurie — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:00:13 +0000

The young woman was running a marathon and came around a corner where I was directing runners over a rocky path. She slipped and fell, tumbling over the edge of the steep cliff, clinging briefly to a sapling tree before free falling 1000 feet to her certain death.

And then I woke up. Frightened, confused, relieved, concerned. Ah, the dreams that come with a new venture. Things are shifting and it’s not all calm and easy. But then why should it be? I’ve been through surrender before and I know that it comes with a very rich dreamtrack.

I love using dreams in work with clients. Dreams are potent carriers of messages that can buoy the process of transformation. In my own analysis of the falling runner dream, I found a few interesting bits of information.

Why would someone design a marathon over a rocky path? It doesn’t make sense in my linear, “Just do it,” Western mind. But to my dreaming mind, it’s perfect. Rocks are often symbols of power. Of course the path is rocky – most of us have experienced that in the path of real life. Seeing those rocks as pieces of my power can change my journey from one of annoyed caution to determined exploration.

A free fall is what happens when there are no forces but gravity. You might think that would be terrifying but people feel weightless in a free fall. We think of gravity as making us feel heavy but the opposing forces are what actually create the sensation. By not resisting I can experience an unfamiliar sense of freedom.

Ah, but what about the certain death? I didn’t see the runner die in the dream. Maybe she didn’t. And if she did die, it often represents a rebirth (thanks to Dana Frost for helping me remember that!). Rebirth feels like the most natural next step for me right now and something I hope to make quite a focus of my work in the future.

Calm free falling and navigating with power. I choose the dream over the nightmare.

Found Any Barbie Heads Lately?

Laurie — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 19:34:30 +0000

The house I live in now was abandoned when we bought it. The Pastori family that lived here before us just up and moved with their five kids back to Italy. They left an amazing amount of stuff behind: furniture, linens, toys, a basement full of junk. It’s not a large house for seven people; I have a hard time imagining all of them and their stuff being there.

After we bought the house, we shoveled it out and filled a dumpster. There was nothing of value to anyone else and it was easier to do a hard reset of the space than to cull through it.

Even so, over the years we have continued to discover bits of things the Pastoris left behind, especially in the yard. An old tennis ball, a water pistol, a garden tool, Barbie heads.

Making a big change in life can feel like reclaiming an abandoned version of yourself. It requires that we learn how to clean out our thoughts. At first, it’s exciting. We start shoveling old ideas out and rushing the new ideas in. If you’re thinking about starting a business, you clean out the thoughts that say “What if it doesn’t work?” If you’re changing your relationship with your children, thoughts like “My kids should do what I say” get the shovel. I just had a birthday and I had the chance to (happily!) clean out my thoughts about “I don’t like getting older.”

But no matter how hard we work to shovel out the old thoughts, there will always be a few Barbie heads – thoughts that pop up out of nowhere, seem vaguely violent, and cause us to wince. The more work I do questioning and challenging thoughts, the easier it gets to just drop those Barbie heads in the trash. They’re just stale artifact thoughts of the previous inhabitant, not the person I choose to be now.

The easiest way to challenge a thought is to turn it around and replace it with one that is more resonant. Finding strong evidence for the new thought helps, too. “What if it does work?”… “I should do what I say”… “I can like getting older.”

Nobody needs a collection of grimy Barbie heads when a fresh, powerful thought is just a turn-around away.

image credit: erix!

My Backbone Soundtrack

Laurie — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 23:22:42 +0000

I adore Pam Slim and I’m loving her remarkable “Rebuild Your Backbone” program this summer. My favorite homework so far was to create a soundtrack that feels like success. It was a genius assignment because I can truly only achieve what I can already feel. And I had just plain forgotten how much these songs could make me feel.

I can’t resist sharing my list and a little of what each tune means to me…

http://blip.fm/profile/lauriefoley/playlist

Staple Singers, I’ll Take You There
This is my teaching theme song. I love helping people “get there.”

Joe Cocker, A Little Help From My Friends
This one is dedicated to Pam Slim. Mwah to my friend!

Joni Mitchell, All I Want
A favorite for nearly 30 years. It’s the simplest things that bring me true joy. “I wanna talk to ya, I wanna shampoo ya…”

Joss Stone, Some Kind of Wonderful
“I don’t need a whole lotta money, I don’t need a big fine car, I gotta everything that a girl could want, I got more than I could ask for.”

Keb’ Mo’, Victims of Comfort
Isn’t that why we often keep doing things that don’t really work anymore?

Lenny Kravitz, Let Love Rule
“It’s time to take a stand…”

Macy Gray, I Try
Don’t you just want to wave your hands in the air when you listen to the chorus? Or sing really loud? “I believe that fate has brought us here…”

Nick Drake, Time Has Told Me
Brings me to tears every time… “For some day our ocean will find its shore.”

Sly & The Family Stone, Family Affair
The desire to start a family is what motivated me to start my own business 15 years ago.

Otis Redding, Try A Little Tenderness
“You won’t regret it, no, no.”

Janis Joplin, Take Another Piece of My Heart
When I’m tired or just discouraged, I listen to Janis giving it everything she’s got.

Corinne Bailey Rae, Put Your Records On
Happy, happy music… “Three little birds sat on my window and they told me I don’t need to worry.”

Aretha Franklin, Mr. Big Stuff
I couldn’t have a backbone list without some Aretha! “Who do you think you are?”

Bonnie Somerville, Winding Road
Another great song if it’s starts to get cloudy in my head.

Ben Harper, Diamonds On The Inside
“A candle throws its light into the darkness
In a nasty world,so shines the good deed
Make sure the fortune, that you seek
Is the fortune you need.”

Dave Matthews Band, Where Are You Going?
“I am no Superman”

Bill Evans, What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life?
Just the gorgeous instrumental. Good for pondering the question.

Jayhawks, All The Right Reasons
“As I lay upon my bed I begin dreaming…”

Amos Lee, Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight
“I think we gotta chance, to make it right.
Keep it loose, Keep it tight.”

Wanda Jackson, Hard Headed Woman
Pure grit – and I want her dress.

I can’t begin to tell you how much fun I had making this list. Try it! Please feel free to post your list or a link to your blip playlist in the comments.

image credit: D Sharon Pruitt

Are You Running Your Business Like A Round of Doodle Jump™?

Laurie — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:59:06 +0000

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE a good iPhone game, especially one as addictive as Doodle Jump™. It’s the perfect diversion when stuck in a waiting room, on a car trip, or just as a random bit of competitiveness with my similarly game-addicted son.

But a while ago I noticed that some people (read: me!) were approaching business development like a round of Doodle Jump™ and I declared a more productive path.

Not familiar with DJ? Here’s how Wikipedia explains the game:

In Doodle Jump™, the aim is to guide a four-legged creature called the Doodler up an unending series of platforms without falling. Players tilt the device from side to side to move the Doodler in the desired direction. Players can get a short boost from various objects, such as propeller hats, jetpacks, rockets, springs or trampolines. There are also monsters that the Doodler has to shoot or jump on to eliminate. You can aim your shot by tapping on different parts of the screen, sending a laser in the direction of your finger. There is no definitive end to the game, but the end for each gameplay happens when you fall (by reaching the bottom of the screen), jump into a monster, get sucked into a black hole, or abducted by a UFO.

Does your business look a lot like Doodle Jump™, too?

Let’s break it down…

Doodle Jump™ Approach: Jump around platforms (a.k.a. random opportunities).
Try this instead: Build an infrastructure like SimCity instead. Lay the groundwork of your healthy business community through a strong referral network and frequent engagement with your authentically supportive team. Grow toward clear goals instead of randomly grabbing the nearest somewhat stable-looking thing. It’s amazing how much better you’ll sleep when you’re taking a next planned step instead of desperately seeking a moving target.

Doodle Jump™ Approach: Try to find a jet pack to give you a quick boost in sales or followers or list-building.
Try this instead: The problem is that jet packs just aren’t sustainable. Sure, the quick fix is great (and probably much needed) but the tactics that created the quick fix are probably not the ones that will create loyal clients. Use your internal jet packs for creativity and making offers that are laser-focused on your clients’ needs. Building a reputation as someone who knows what clients need and has solid solutions is the foundation of a sustainable business.

Doodle Jump™ Approach: Avoid the monsters who will instantly destroy you.
Try this instead: Most monsters live in our heads. They are fears that can be neutralized if we learn how to recognize them. Avoiding them and fearing them IS how they destroy you, by consuming your precious resources of time and energy. Learn to welcome fears as teachers. They only have the power that we give them – why not give them constructive power? If you were learning from your fears instead of seeing them as monsters, how would you act today? What would you do right now?

I’ve noticed a lot of small business owners seem to have a Doodle Jump™ approach when a more focused strategy would help them reach their goals in a scalable and sustainable way. It’s hard to watch because it is painful when the Doodler falls through the supportive places into the void. I’ve been there, black holes and all. Falling isn’t the bad thing. We all fall. Not learning from the fall is the true waste.

Just as Doodle Jump can be addictive as a game, the Doodle Jump approach to business is highly addictive, too. You don’t think your brain gets a rush from revenue jet packs and the adventure of jumping around? Sure it does. But is that the best way to get your Big Audacious Work out into the world? Can you really afford the buzz at the expense of serving the people who need the non-Doodle you, not just now but the next time you’re an ideal match?

image credit: Lima Sky

Stop The Clock

Laurie — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:23:57 +0000

I’m experimenting – again! Truly, it’s the most fun part of being in business for myself.

This time I’m stopping the clock (no pun intended). I’m offering branding services according to results and not time.

Is it scary to think I might work longer for a lower rate? Sure. It’s easy to underestimate the effort a project will require, especially when initially offering a service. But every project teaches me so much, making it easy to tweak and improve my offers and my rates.

Is it a relief to quit watching the clock and focus intently on the client? Totally. It has opened my creative juices in ways I never imagined. My attention is completely on serving and building trust so that valuable results can flow.

But the best part?

If people aren’t hiring me for my time, then what are they buying?

Outcomes.

And that’s a win-win. I get the huge satisfaction of knowing that I am providing something that makes a measurable difference and my clients are thrilled that they have clear takeaways.

Will I still offer an hourly rate? Sure. Sometimes a consultation session is just what the client needs. In those situations I’m very mindful of what the desired outcomes are and how we are working together to achieve them, even when time is constrained.

It’s a kick to discover other clock-busting service entrepreneurs who are offering results-based pricing. One of my favorites is Rebecca Prien, Counsel to Creativity. She is an artist and an attorney who provides non-scary legal services to creatives. Her pricing model includes packages of legal services for which one can pay over time. It feels like legal layaway but I’m old enough to remember when layaway meant you got the goodies without the debt. How wonderfully Old School! I just hired Rebecca and am thrilled that we will be working together.

If you’re wildly uncomfortable with results-based pricing for your business, why? Are you struggling to define the outcomes? Are you afraid you’ll price it too low? There’s a compelling reverse-engineering opportunity here. If you can clearly define the outcome, it’s remarkably easy to assess the value.

If you’re not in the outcome business, what business are you in?

I’d love to hear other examples of clock-busting entrepreneurs in the comments. I’m very interested in collecting examples of models that are working to the benefit of the provider and the client. Thanks!

image credit: sandra_marek

The Wisdom of Two Year Olds

Laurie — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 12:56:59 +0000

Been around any two years old lately? They looooove to ask why. Relentlessly.

Have you asked yourself why lately? Relentlessly?

Do you know why you’re doing what you’re doing? If you want to tap into the most powerful message you can offer your “right people,” try asking yourself why.

Simon Sinek inspired me to embrace my Inner Two Year Old with his TEDx talk, “Start With Why.” I’m getting really clear that my “why” is about helping people struggle less while becoming powerful: struggle less with finding their why, struggle less with technology that can deliver a message, struggle less with living life on purpose.

Enjoy the video. I’d love to hear your why in the comments.

Catching Lightning Bugs

Laurie — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:44:46 +0000

When I was a kid, the best summer evenings started with asking my mom if she had an empty jelly jar. With a lid. Then, we’d ask my dad to punch holes in the lid, but not too big. Just breathing size. We would follow him out to the tool bench in the garage where a lamp was getting a new cord or a car part from the salvage yard was soaking in solvent for a future repair. He made it look easy to pierce metal with a nail.

And when all the neighborhood kids were armed with jars, the dance of chasing lightning bugs began. Dusk was the ideal time. It was like the stars had downshifted and were hovering closer to Earth. A little dimmer and yellower but right at arms length. The lightning bugs were putting on a show and it felt powerful to capture light where the grape jelly had been a few days ago.

Marketing with integrity has been top of mind for me lately. I’ve been so dismayed by people following the old school formulas for building huge lists and wearing out their followers with repetition, so-called scarcity and other grinding approaches. I’m tired of being pitched.

I think it got painful because I’m a researcher. Analyzing how things work is like breathing for me. I can’t not do it. And I couldn’t reconcile what felt so bad with what appears as success for the “stars.”

Then it hit me: it’s none of my business.

Their business is none of my business.

And with that thought came peace.

I just remember what it felt like to catch those lightning bugs and how watching most online marketing doesn’t give me anything close to that feeling. Success is a feeling. And right now, with the thick humidity of summer in the air, I want to feel joy. The cooler air of evening, the thrill of playing in the dark with friends and the peaceful sleep that comes when lying next to a small luminescent jar.

If it means that my approach to marketing is more like lightning bugs and less like stars, I’m good with that. I’ll enjoy growing my business just as much as I loved catching lightning bugs when I was ten years old.

I have extra jars if you want to come out and play.

Are You A Gadget Sinner?

Burn Remedy

Laurie — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:23:39 +0000

After writing about selling vs. serving and how being of service challenges our attention, I’ve been thinking  about the other side of the relationship: the attention of the potential client.   What are audience options when they don’t feel served?

Increasingly, clients will air their complaints via social media. Make no mistake, people will blast you in social media after they have paid for something if it disappointed them. From a seller’s perspective, there are valuable opportunities in this situation, if you can get past feeling stung by the criticism. Reach out to the aggrieved client, but do it personally. Pick up the phone, if possible, or at least send an email or a direct message. Don’t let things escalate publicly. That serves no one.

Most of all, criticism is a perfect opportunity to examine your delivery. Make improvements wherever you can. We’re all going to make mistakes. The pros learn from them and improve without getting defensive.

Pre-sale, if potential clients are not satisfied, I’ve noticed that they are much quieter. From a seller’s point of view this is far worse, because once we lose someone’s attention it is next to impossible to get it back.  You thought it was hard to acquire a subscriber? Try getting a resubscriber. Not likely.

Frankly, I think we get what we deserve when people unsubscribe. We’ve asked for someone’s most precious resources: time and attention. We have accepted their trust and we have a responsibility to earn it every week, not just in our “free class” or “pink spoon.”

Why would someone choose to burn through something as valuable as trust in an attempt to constantly sell something?

Churning and burning the list gives potential clients a very clear message: they are seen as replaceable targets, not valuable relationships.   It’s a mystery to me that anyone would trust a provider who treats subscribers that way with their irreplaceable time, much less money.

So what’s a seller to do? Is it tempting to send just one more “quick, buy now” message? Don’t do it. You’re abusing the people who trusted you.

Does the idea of creating quality content and delivering first-rate services over and over feel daunting? Of course it is. Step up. And then market with integrity. That’s the only burn remedy there is.

Are You Selling or Serving?

Laurie — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 10:00:03 +0000

What information product or class have you bought recently that you would highly recommend? Quick! Name one!

If that was hard, you are not alone.

Internet marketing is in a bit of a slump lately, from what my sources say. Product launches aren’t doing as well as expected and even “big names” are having trouble selling seats in programs. Marissa Bracke had a great guest post about “launch fatigue” on Productive Flourishing recently where she explained how not to be a relentless infomercial.

No one likes to be treated like they have a hunting target painted on them. Or offered the same rehash over and over again dressed in another “mastermind-this” or “platinum-that” wrapper.

Besides that people tire of being blasted with a firehose of indistinguishable offers, we are also sensing the fatigue of the sellers. And I think it can be boiled down to one thing:

Are you selling or serving?

I picture some of the internet marketers sitting around thinking, “Hmmm, what can I sell?” or even “Who can I sell?” instead of “How can I best serve… my friends… my loyal readers… my prior customers… the people who trust me?”

Where is the value if you’re selling instead of serving?

Unfortunately, buyers can’t solve this problem. Their only choice is to ignore the noise or leave the channels altogether. Avoid Facebook. Barely check in on Twitter. Unsubscribe from the mailing list, quickly delete, or shove it under the bed with a mail filter that means you’ll never get back to reading the pitch at all.

Only sellers can solve this problem – and they have to stop being sellers and be servers instead.

How do you know when you’re serving? You feel it. You listen to what people need. You engage in conversations with an open frame of reference. You craft thoughtful, responsive offers that are worthy of extraordinary guarantees. You create instead of recycle. You commit to it.

Is it more work? Yes. But it will be more creatively satisfying work.

Is it worth your time? Only if you want to build a body of work that demonstrates growth.

Most importantly, is it worth the time and work that you are asking your clients to commit? If that’s not a yes, go back to your center and find that core of service. Or have a lot more conversations to learn what people truly need.

Your authentic service is what the people who trust you are counting on. And that will require very little selling.

We Don’t Need No Spiritual Gangstas

Laurie — Thu, 27 May 2010 10:00:12 +0000

I seem to be smelling more of it lately. And I’m probably a little, or a lot, sensitive to it. Some people call it spiritual marketing. Heart-centered. Sacred entrepreneurship. Enlightened. My in-box is full of it.

How dare I say “ay-yee?” to something so apparently hallowed? I just can’t hold this in any longer.

There is quite a movement of people who want to put THEIR calling front and center. But how does this serve their clients?

I’m all for people having a calling but a calling isn’t necessarily a business. Wrapping it in spiritual language doesn’t make it a business.

Successful businesses solve real problems. That’s where they start: problems. They spot needs and meet them. Consistently, intentionally, and at a price that people find valuable.

Sure, some people can make money (for a while, at least) without solving problems. There are brilliantly charismatic people who wear their lifestyles in amazingly attractive ways. Who wouldn’t pay them to learn how they do it? But where’s the substance? Where’s the contribution that makes you want to sit up on your death bed and say “I DID THIS.”

I have an unsavory theory about the world of spiritual marketing.

It’s just my hunch so please tell me where I’m wrong. I think some of the spiritual marketers are just uncomfortable saying that they want to make money. They want to make their mortgage, they want to pay their phone bill, they want to go on a nice vacation, they want to support a family member, they want to give a bunch away. Money matters.

But that discomfort with saying “money is important to me” causes them to wrap their profit motive in an palely altruistic or spiritual one.

AND it lets them off the hook. If they don’t make money, it’s not because their marketing was confusing… or their website was unnavigable… or their program had no substance… it’s because “people don’t get them” or “people are unenlightened.”

And then if they DO make money, oh my. It was God’s will. Or Shiva’s…. Or The Universe (whatever that is).

When the spiritual marketers do succeed financially, I think the money smells like incense and the spirituality smells like old dollar bills. It confuses the hell out of me. Or maybe the heaven. Have I been duped or redeemed?

I don’t believe in a God that makes some people successful and others fail. I believe we are all here to do holy work. Some will make money doing their holy work; others will toil and serve joyfully for nary a dime. Neither is better or worse.

Can people really be spiritual entrepreneurs without being spiritual gangstas? Mark Silver comes to mind as a good counter-example to the “all spirit, no substance” tribe. He carries a strong banner in this area and I think he delivers a lot of solid content, too. He’s very up-front about profit as a necessity.

Here’s what I want to see more of:

People who are creating a business based on their values while being completely transparent about their values and their goals.
Wanna see an example? Michele Woodward

People whose spirituality makes them wildly generous without trying to manipulate people into buying a spiritual program.
Wanna see an example? Pam Slim

People who create from the soul and who have solid programs that deliver.
Wanna see an example? Hiro Boga

It is a deeply satisfying thing to trade money for services with Michele, Pam or Hiro. They meet a need. They deliver from a place of experience, credibility AND the heart. Each is attuned to her clients in a way that can only come from a nurtured and nurturing spirit.

I crave more exemplars. Who would you recommend as an entrepreneur with a solid business AND an authentic soul? Are you one?

photo credit: ideowl